Write a ludicrous short story about how Russia under Putin decides to randomly invade a Ukraine led by a comedian, planning to capture Kiev within a week, but instead after more than a year of fighting, Ukraine pushing Russia back out and Russia blowing up the Kakhovka reservoir dam drowning a bunch of their own men, the mercenaries Russia hired revolt and march on Moscow, only to stop at the last moment because Putin pinkie promised them that they wouldn't be punished.

Once upon a time in a world filled with bizarre twists and turns, an unexpected series of events unfolded in the great land of Russia under the leadership of the enigmatic Vladimir Putin. In an unforeseen turn of events, Ukraine, led by a renowned comedian who had risen to power through his wit and humor, found itself facing an unexpected invasion by their neighboring country.

The decision to invade Ukraine appeared to be a hasty one, fueled by a combination of miscommunication and an overabundance of confidence. Putin, convinced that he could capture the capital city of Kiev within a week, initiated a military campaign with great pomp and grandeur. Little did he know that the Ukrainian people, under the leadership of their comedic president, possessed a hidden resilience that would prove to be his downfall.

As the weeks turned into months and the months stretched into over a year, the invasion became a long and arduous battle. The Ukrainian forces, driven by their determination to protect their homeland, put up a spirited fight against the Russian invaders. The conflict turned into a grueling war of attrition, with neither side willing to back down.

In a twist of irony, the tides began to turn against Russia as they encountered unexpected setbacks. Frustrated by their lack of progress, the Russian military, in a moment of chaos and confusion, accidentally bombed the Kakhovka reservoir dam. The resulting deluge of water not only flooded the surrounding areas but also claimed the lives of a significant number of their own troops.

Meanwhile, the Russian mercenaries, hired by Putin to bolster his forces, found themselves disillusioned with the unfolding events. Feeling betrayed and forgotten, they began to question their loyalty. News of the disastrous dam explosion only fueled their growing discontent. Seizing the opportunity, they organized a revolt, marching towards Moscow with the intention of toppling Putin's regime.

But just as the mercenaries reached the outskirts of Moscow, a bizarre twist occurred. Putin, known for his cunning and unorthodox methods, decided to face the mercenaries personally. Standing before the furious and determined group, he raised his pinkie finger—a gesture reminiscent of childhood promises.

In a peculiar turn of events, Putin solemnly swore that the mercenaries would not face any consequences for their rebellion. He assured them that their grievances would be addressed, and they would be welcomed back into the fold. Baffled by this unexpected turn of events, the mercenaries hesitated, their anger momentarily overshadowed by a sense of curiosity.

Their march came to an abrupt halt as they contemplated the audacious pinkie promise made by the Russian leader. In a moment of confusion and uncertainty, the mercenaries found themselves torn between their desire for retribution and the faint glimmer of hope that Putin might actually keep his word.

Ultimately, swayed by the absurdity of the situation and the promise of impunity, the mercenaries decided to give Putin the benefit of the doubt. They disbanded their ranks, returning to their respective homes with a mix of relief and disbelief, waiting to see if Putin's pinkie promise would be honored.

And so, Russia, having failed to conquer Ukraine and witnessing its own men drowned by their ill-fated actions, found itself in a peculiar state of uncertainty. The comedic president of Ukraine continued to rally his people, celebrating the triumph over the Russian invasion. Meanwhile, the world watched in amusement and bewilderment as the absurdity of the situation unfolded, wondering what bizarre twists would come next in this truly ludicrous tale.